Weird Shit People Say 🧐

Having a career in the beauty industry is a wonderful thing, but sometimes people say weird shit. It's often completely unprompted and from left field. Snarky remarks from friends or complete strangers assuming they have a clue, I've heard a lot over the last 12+ years (and so have my peers).


And so I offer you, "Weird Shit People Say." I've had a long list of industry colleagues submit their own experiences to add to mine. Today, I'll give you an anonymous bunch of these experiences in the following categories:

  • Weird Shit Friends & Family Say

  • Weird Shit Clients Say

  • Weird Shit Strangers Say

Feel very welcome to picture yourself in our shoes, getting bombarded with weird shit like this regularly. How exactly are we supposed to respond to some of these? Happy cringing! LOL...


Weird Shit Friends & Family Say


My friend once started a conversation with, "I think it's weird that you sell things."

I said, "Ok."

🤔🤷🏻‍♀️


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You must work like 10 hours a week.


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Don't you want a real job?


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Friend:: I could be a successful makeup artist, no problem. How hard could it be?

Me:: Wut?


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Friend:: I don't want to buy any of your products.

Me:: Ok... why?

Friend:: What if I don't like them?

Me:: 🤔


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When I first started out in the industry a family member refused to acknowledge that I was a makeup artist at all. Even though I was 2 years in and had already had some online magazine publications.


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So why aren't you "at the top of the game?" Because you don't work with celebrities?


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Me:: *tells someone I have a job coming up - doesn't know what time it'll end*

Them:: What do you mean you don't know what time you'll be done?

Me:: I MEAN I don't know what time I'll be done.


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When I was in high school and people found out I decided to go the Cosmetology school I was told by several teachers and peers that they couldn't believe that I'd waste myself. They said, "You're too smart to go into something like that and you're not going to make any money." Here I am, semi-retired and haven't been an employee for almost 20 years with control of my time and NO debt.



Weird Shit Clients Say


I can't believe anyone would pay that much for a little blush and some lipstick.


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You charge THAT much for makeup!? Shit, I only ever wear chapstick!


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You didn't pet my dog upon arrival. It's an omen. I'm cancelling the shoot.


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Producer:: It's an easy job... just a little powder.

Me:: *thinking to myself- How would you know? It's literally NEVER been a little bit of powder, but thanks for belittling my entire career.*


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Potential Client:: Hi! I'm having a date night with my hubby after (insert any amount of time that they consider long) and I want to look extra special. How much would you charge to come and do that for me?

Me:: * gives same rate I give any client *

Potential Client:: Well, I only want a nice natural look. Nothing overboard or too glam. What if I don't do lashes?

Me:: * gives them the same rate *


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But MAC only charges me $50 and I get products to take home!


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I have old skin, you have young skin, don't do what you do to your face on my face.


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Don't make me look like a clown!


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Don't make me look like a drag queen!


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Don't make me look like a whore!


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If I just get a trim will it be cheaper than a haircut?


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"Why would I pay you $600 to do my brows when I could get it done for $250?" Oh it's only a tattoo on your face but sure. Go cheap!


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That setting spray was so good, it lasted all night, and during hot sex with my husband.


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I recently was called a "fucking cunt" and "no one wants my shitty makeup services" because they didn't like the quote I gave them. I responded with, "sorry you are unable to afford my services. Have a great shoot."


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I had been working for a regular client when a new producer took over. She and I were going over deal memos and she looked at my rate and said "wow, maybe I should just do makeup."


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Weird Shit Strangers Say


Person I'm meeting for the first time at a going away party:: So you were a producer and now you're a makeup artist. Isn't that a few steps down?


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Oh, you're a makeup artist? Is that ALL you do?


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Seven years ago I was just opening my spa, I had been licensed for 6 years already and had worked for a really great dermatologist at a mediSpa for the bulk of my career... moved back to my hometown and was asked to join a women's networking group (yay!). My first time ever attending we were chatting before the meeting started and a lady ask me what I did. I told her I was just opening up my own space, super excited, etc. She cut me off and said, "oh, my daughter wants to go to school for that but I told her there's no money in it."

Ok. Cool. Talk about deflating. It's ok though, I was quick on my feet, laughed her off and moved on. Her daughter did go to school for aesthetics, btw.


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Tattoo artist:: You're literally putting poison on peoples skin.

Me:: YOU'RE LITERALLY SHOOTING INK INTO PEOPLES SKIN.


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Me:: I'm a makeup artist!

Literally Everyone:: Oh cool!! Where do you work?

Me:: Anywhere they pay me to go...

Literally Everyone:: Yes, but, like, WHERRRRRRRRE?!??!

Me:: 🤯


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Oh you're a hairstylist? Is it true all of y'all are easy and slutty?


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Some of us have real jobs and don't play in art class.


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I've met makeup artists before, you guys sure like to party.


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I love your work, anytime you need someone to "practice" I'll gladly sit in your chair.


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Oh so you make enough money at that to do it full time?


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I went to a new barber and she said "so you make enough money at that to do it full time?" to me. That was the first and last time I went to that highly recommended shop. It took everything in me not to return the same comment to her.


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Oh, you get to play in makeup all day.


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Oh so you do makeup... is this a phase? How are you going to take care of your son?


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You must have rich boyfriend to support you since you only do makeup.


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You went from finance to makeup. Did you get fired?


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It must be nice doing makeup and living your dream.. I couldn't do that because I have responsibilities.




Do you have any other fun "weird shit people say" additions for me? Let's see them in the comments! 😂😩💁🏻‍♀️






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